21. seems. so. old!

Here's a newsflash: i've been 21 for over a month.
  and also, i meant to post this a month ago. carrying on.
21 isn't much different than 20. the difference is really just a day. But it seems much more. I kinda freaked out when i turned 21. it's so old! but honestly, this past year has been amazing. i seriously didn't think my 20th year could get any better than my 19th, but i was wrong. it wasn't that it was better, but it definitely was one of best that i can remember.
Here's  a glimpse of what i did (if you were wondering why it was just so great)
ready? get excited. (ps, i did one of these for my 19th birthday- if you wanna see the stuff that i did TWO years ago. click hurr)

-Submitted my mission papers on June 12th
-Received and opened my call on July 26th (my reaction)
-went down for another semester of school at SUU
-roomed with my best friend and sister, Riss
-gave a 90 minute presentation on epilepsy (90 minutes is FOREVER long)
-sang karaoke for the first time at Applebee's. if you have not done this, it is recommended :)
-watched The Notebook. kinda didn't love it a whole lot
-successfully made pancakes.
-filled up Journal 13, 14, and 15
-taught my first Sunday School lesson about 3 Nephi
-finished the entire Old Testament
-GOT A NEW LICENSE PICTURE. ok seriously, i have been looking forward to that since my 16th birthday. my driver's license picture looked like i was stoned..
-crocheted a scarf for my best friend
-Worked as a counselor at EFY (here's what i had to say about a few of the weeks)
-didn't kiss anyone..
-did "No Shave November" ... for almost 4 months. i have pictures.
-became a ward missionary
-had mountain dew for the first time

I can't think of any more. but this last year has been the best 20th year of my life ever. Let's hope #21 will be just as phenomenal. Which it will be. Cuz i'll be on a mission.
-Adult Raela

ps, posting this today means 2 blog posts in 2 days! that hasn't happened in over a year! whoa.

Recently, i found a gem

it's difficult to be sad after looking at his joy. i mean, come on! it's a pineapple!

i hope you enjoy this as much as i do :)

stay classy, Raela 

Dreams

----when i  was younger, i used to want to be a librarian. i  don't know where the idea of a librarian came from. but alas, i did not choose the path of a librarian. 

----i liked books, so i thought, hey, you could WRITE the books! so i then wanted to be a writer. genius!! pretty much all the signs were saying that i shouldn't pursue it, but i disregarded them, thinking that i could be really great! after all, i thought i could do it, and so i figured i would make it big! then i went to school. i did alright in english classes, but not as good as my friends. i thought my papers were well written, but they only received a B grade.. i knew that wouldn't cut it. so i kinda forgot about my dream to become a writer. (and now i just laugh about that. i can't even keep a blog, let alone write things! goodness, rae.. )

----but i longed to create things, and was taking piano lessons. my teacher said that i had a natural gift, or something. so i assumed that i was some sort of prodigy! then i wanted to be a concert pianist. i wanted to play in front of millions of people. even the queen- we would be wonderful friends. but when i realized that i would have to practice a bunch, i slaughtered that dream.. so an artist was next on my list. 

----i enjoyed drawing. but my sister was better, and everyone knew it. since no one ever recognized "my wonderful skill," i gave up. who needs to be an artist! not me. i would just draw on the side, and not have it as a career.  

----then, this wild idea came into my brain, i'v been told that i fall gracefully.. i know! i'll be a stunt double! What?! yeah. i practiced falling, tumbling, rolling around, everything. i got pretty good. for a 9 year old. I would hear my friends talking about what they wanted to be. doctor, orthodontist, baker, musician, all these "normal" jobs. 

----so i decided to change. architect! yep. i still had the burning desire to create! but i wanted to make buildings, and design structures. it was like an artist, but more.. professional. yes, that's the word. professional. plus, i sounded awesome saying it. i wanted to be an architect for MANY years. until junior high. when i realized that 1. i didn't like math enough, and 2. girls don't usually do that kinda stuff.. stupid sexist comments. 

----but i thought about psychology, and that's what i'm going for! still. i've never wanted to be a counselor, but i would much rather do research and work on people's brains. not so much a neurosurgeon, but a neuropsychologist. and i really hope that doesn't change, even though it's going to be tough. it'll take a lot of years, money, and patience. let's hope i can do it! if not, i think i would settle for a family. 

----sometimes we need more than a desire to do something, but finding the motivation is.. almost impossible for me. all i know is:

well done is so much better than well said.

and i plan on getting a gold star after all of this schooling is done!

-raela

the head.

i love my sister Heather. I give her grief and change her profile picture and stuff, but i love her. i may not act like it, but i love her.
maybe i'm just jealous because she never had to go thru the awkward stages that i had to go thru, since i was the first girl, i got to figure out how bad everything i wore looked. my mom believed in letting us experiment and learn for ourselves what we liked.. thanks mom. but with Heather, she has two older sisters that let her know if her outfit looks awful. then again, biker shorts aren't really in anymore, so it's not too often that we have to make her change to go out into public..
plus, Riss  and i are pretty close in age, so we kind of gang up on her and torment her. it's out of love. honest. i appreciate her putting up with us, and loving us all the same when the day is done.

you're fantastic, heather. thanks fro being the sister that you are. i can't wait until we all mature and can hang out without teasing you. forgive me for all the grief i/we have caused you, but you should expect more. it's who i am.i hope you have a good day. i love you.

music says a lot about a person..

I think the music we listens to says a lot about who we are. This is my music, iPod on random, first ten songs. 

NO SHAME 

Here goes nothing.

1- Iris- Goo Goo Dolls. Oh man, i love this song. it makes me very happy, and very sad. it's one of those songs that can just make me emotional if i feel like it.
2- What If- Jason Derulo. Not a huge Jason Derulo fan, but what i have, i typically like. i have to be in the mood for this one. i wouldn't really call it rap. look it up you've never heard it. actually, here.
3- LA LA LA- Auburn. I feel like a punk when i listen to this song, but it also makes me happy. i don't know why not many people have heard it..
4- The Boys are Back- Zac Efron & Corbin Bleu. Gotta love High School Musical! i like this song, it reminds me of my good friend, Michelle. i don't know why. She has a blog! check her blog out!
5- 22- Lily Allen. Such a pretty voice. good song. sometimes i listen to it 20 times in a row. just cuz i like doing that sorta thing.
6- What About Now- Lonestar. Country. i love country. i love this song. ah, such a good one. makes me want to run away with my best friend..
7- Vanilla Twilight- Owl City. Why the heck do i have this song? i actually hate it. a lot. i think i'm gonna get rid of it. right now. (sorry to all you who love this song. i think it's garbage..)
8- Fields of Gold- Matthew Jackson. Not familiar with the artist? well, he was in my home ward, and i love his voice. so i have his music. here, take a look. but this songs is sad, but it makes me happy.
9- So Happy Together- Herman's Hermits. this song reminds me of a boy. and how we are happy together, and how i feel about him. if you can relate, you know what i'm talking about.
10- I Feel Bad- Rascal Flats. Once, i listened to rascal flats all day. for four days. at least. they can really emote what they are thinking, and i like being able to relate to something.

So that pretty much shows that i love all types of music. Although some of the cool ones aren't on there. Have you heard this song? I love it. i don't know why. maybe cuz it's good! same with this one :)

one day, i'll blog about my favorite songs. but for now, this will have to do.

happy monday. seriously. 

-raela

fate, destiny, and miracles.

>> i believe in fate and destiny. and especially in miracles. <<
 
>> i am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. whether it be good, bad, happy, unexpected, etc, it happen for a reason. i know that God has everything under control, and if we just put our faith in Him and trust His perfect judgement and timing, then everything will work out in the best, most desirable way possible.
so if things are going tough, be grateful that God loves you enough to let you have this trial. if He didn't love you, your life would be absolutely perfect, and boring. there would be no progression without a hard time here and there.
>> trials are just a manifestation of God's love. i know that for a fact. even though they are hard, you aren't alone, and you will be so much stronger afterwards. especially if you ask God for help and comfort.

NOTHING IS TOO HARD. GOD KNOWS THAT AND HE IS REFINING YOU TO PERFECTION.

>> i think we all have a place that God wants us to be. the reason you are where you are is because that is where you are supposed to be. you will meet people, learn things about yourself, or gain a new perspective from where you are. even if you happen to be in a rut.
>> although we have free agency, i think that God knows us so perfectly that no matter what we choose to do, it can help us. some choices might be beneficial immediately, and others may lead to trials that will benefit you in the future. either way, you'll get something out of your choice.

>> miracles. i know you will see miracles if you are doing what you need to be doing. when you start seeing other people as God's children, you will see miracles. they may not be HUGE miracles, but they don't have to be. i see miracles all the time. i hear about miracles. life is a miracle. with all the complications out there, the fact that we are alive and healthy is a miracle. sometimes, i feel that it is a miracle that i passed a test.

>> i think miracles are a reminder of God's infinite love for me. and for you. the closer we are to God's will, the more miracles we can witness. how wonderful! :)

>> i don't know if any of this makes sense. i am just letting my brain talk for a minute. way too much information processing up there right now. i guess i'll step down from my soapbox.

>> feel free to add anything to this. it could very well be incomplete. <<

raela

LOVE:

Now, it's different. The whole word itself. It has lost a lot of its sacredness. People go around, admitting they are in love, when they don't act like it.

To me, love is a very powerful word. I will not tell someone that i love them, unless i mean it 10000%. no matter what. There's no fooling around with people's hearts. That's just rude.

To me, love is:

-- caring more about him than yourself.

-- supporting him no matter what

-- cherishing every moment together

-- letting him put his priorities first

-- only speaking kind words about him and to him.

-- being willing to do anything for him

-- wanting, and doing everything you can to keep him happy

-- being his best friend, confidant, support, safe haven, & partner in crime :)

-- not wanting anyone else.

Saying 'i love you' to a person is kinda a big deal. it has been since.. forever. and i think that it should be treated like that. 

it is not easy for me to tell a boy that i love them. it takes me a long time to tell them, mainly because when i fall, i fall FAST, and i don't wanna scare them.. but i have been in love twice in my life. i have been in more than two relationships. the other boys that i dated were great. i enjoyed being with them, they made me happy, i cared about them.

but there was a defining moment when i realized that i was in love. it wasn't that puppy love that kids experience in jr. high. i was in love. willing to do anything for the other person, super happy. cloud nine. serendipitous. head-over-heels. euphoric. whatever.

but sometimes, things happen. people grow apart, and they fall out of love.. which is sad. this has only happened once to me. but even though i am not dating the other guy that i fell in love with, i still care about him. i want him to be happy. i don't think i would feel like that if i hadn't once loved him.

but that's another story. for another time.

i found this quote. it really made me think. I really like it.

You say that you love rain,

but you open your umbrella when it rains.

You say that you love the sun,

but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines.

You say that you love the wind, 

but you close your windows when the wind blows.

This is why I am afraid, you say that you love me too.

-William Shakespeare

so many people go off and tell someone that they love them. but they don't put in the time. and possibly don't even care that much. But maybe love means something different for me than it does for you.

WHAT IS LOVE TO YOU? 

stay classy

-raela

the blog.

Ya know? Humans are a nosy people.
For one reason or another, we like to know what is going on in other people’s lives.
When we see someone writing in a notebook, we find our eyes wandering over to the words, reading them, even though we do not know who the person is. WHY? Perhaps we secretly compare our lives to those around us, or feel that if we can read someone's personal story, we will know them a little better. Who knows? But i don't know of anyone that isn’t tempted to look over your friend's shoulder and read the note that she got from her boyfriend.
But seriously? what is the purpose of blogging, or posting facebook status updates? i absolutely love reading other people's blogs, and i can't help but to think that maybe people actually enjoy reading mine. even though i don't have much to say..
haha for those that update their facebook status' every 20 minutes. i would suggest writing a blog. that way, people who actually want to read what you have to say have the choice, and they don't come across it in our news feed. thanks :) but this is actually a plea for good blogs to follow. I love reading interesting things, and knowing what other people like. So if any of you know of good blogs, don't hesitate. :)

oh man.

you know your blog is crappy when you lose a follower.
oh darn.

to my loyaler followers (myself included) any suggestions to spice up my blog world? this would be much appreciated. :)

You can read this one for free

I went to the dentist yesterday. Sitting in the chair, I realized a lot of things. Feel free to bask in my knowledge. Which could possibly only be true with my dentist. Not sure how yours is..

- they play music for you in the dentst's chair so you don't only hear them scraping at your teeth.
- they wear those masks for many reasons.
         -one, they don't want you looking at their teeth
             -two, they don't want to smell your breath
                 -three, they're super stylish
                     -four, they probably have to. regulations must be kept!
- they like to start their conversations as they start working on your teeth, so all you can say is mmhmmmm. That could be fun for them.
- the older the lady, the more brutal she is. No one likes getting Teresa. Sorry, truth hurts sometimes.
- they give you sunglasses to wear so you don't make awkward eye contact with them. (I used to to think they were looking at me- no, they are looking at my teeth, and that's all.) And I guess they're being nice so you don't have to look at the light...
- you only get a prize if you're under ten, UNLESS you specifically ask for one. Tempting.
- i would not want to be looking at people's teeth all day.
- when you leave, you smell like the dentist all day long.

and that's about it.
love Rae.

Toilet Man

THIS MAN DOES NOTHING BUT GOOD!

• This man plants trees- on days OTHER than Arbor Day!
• He carries in groceries for pregnant women!
• Has been seen helping elderly cross the street!
• He volunteers at an animal shelter- EVERY THIRD TUESDAY!
• This man picks up trash at the park in his free time!
• He helps people find their lost puppies!

• He unclogs the commode !

• This man fights for the good of mankind! 

???????????

it's time for his to get some recognition. But.

WHO IS THIS TOILET MAN?

and why won't he reveal himself?

People want to know!

toilet man, it's time to come out of the closet. 

The water closet.

:) so super cute

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEN-kHe5o_Y

this should be every boy's reaction to a kiss :)
the end.

thinking out loud.

i feel like i should write on my blog since it's been quite some time. 

i can't really say i've been too busy to write, because i definitely haven't been

i shouldn't say i have nothing awesome to write about, because i do.

               actually i have a lot of awesome things to write about.. i JUST DON'T WANT TO WRITE! not here.

i guess i'm just lethargic. which is ok by me.. sadly. 

i would go play with Riss... haha tried that earlier and we just sat in her room making up awkward music videos.. i enjoyed it, but.. right now i just want to color in my giant coloring book.

it's super cute. it has a bunny on it. and there's one with princesses. I love how my mom randomly gets me kid stuff, it makes me feel young... i AM still young, so that's a good thing. ugh. 20. i am going to be 20. i remember when i turned 16. i felt old then. i guess the older you are, the older "old" gets. my aunt told me that one time. so true. i could be doing a whole bunch of things right now. i should write in my journal, since i'm behind. i could go help with dinner. i am just wasting my time on the computer, just because it is in front of me. how pathetic. one day, i am going to realize what a boring teenager i was. i should go rebel or something, ya know, make life interesting. 

nah. 

Random duck picture? check.

but i do what what i will do. i am going to get off this computer and do something awesome, so my grandkids won't think i was a lame kid. that's right. Grandkids. i'm doing this for you. thanks for the motivation. i owe ya one.

counting a blessing

as i blankly stared out the front windshield, i noticed tiny little bugs flying at high speed towards it. 

just imagine yourself flying along, minding your own business, perhaps on your way to your child's kindergarten graduation, and then, out of the blue, a strong, clear wall

- made up of two pieces of glass that are separated by a layer of polyvinyl butyrate- 

comes up and   BAM! you're dead. no more kindergarten graduation.

that is NOT how i want to die.

i am so very glad that i am not a bug. and that i am, in fact, a human. 

some bugs are cute.. just not when they are splattered on my windshield.

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's head as it hits the windshield?

-it's butt.

have a nice day.

lesson learned? check.

oh boy. lately, i have realized that i am not the sharpest tool in the shed. i wouldn't consider myself stupid, because i am not, but i sure do some pretty dumb things without thinking about it..  but what can ya do? it's who i am, and i love being me, so why should i bother?
   anyways, to prove my point, i just posted that i was engaged on my facebook status. is this true? absolutely not. but i thought it would be really funny. and it was. for a second. no later than a minute after i post it, i get an overload of texts asking if i was really engaged. typical, for i would do the same thing.

crazy rae

 .... this wouldn't be a problem if i was still in high school. i forget that it is socially  acceptable to be engaged while in college. i really didn't think that one out. maybe, i  shouldn't do that ever again? i think yes. i'm sure people will continue to text me and  comment on my status, and i will just have to crush their hopes of my engagement.. but such is life. what's done is done. :) sooner or later, i will probably take it off, but for  now, i guess i should just live in the moment.
   DEAR RAELA, PLEASE USE YOUR BRAIN. IT WOULD REALLY HELP YOU OUT.
                LOVE, ME

3 for 3

 man, i am doing pretty good with this whole blog thing! I never thought i would be able to write random things on the internet! be proud.
  as i sat in the living room today, i thought about my underwear. strange thing to think about? yes. yes it is.but not really, because i just got some really cute new ones the other day. i hate getting cute undies, because it really isn't appropriate to go around showing people your bloomers. so it's kind of a thing to enjoy alone. personally, if something makes me happy, i like to share it with others. ya know, spread the joy. but in the case of underwear, i think i will just keep it to myself :)
love forever, Raela